Healing sexual predation injuries is a process with stages.

Be patient with yourself. Be resolute. You can do it. If you need help, we can do it. If you need support, be resolute. You are not alone.

These are some of the stages:

• Sexuality is a knife that cuts to nourish, or cuts to injure. How we learn about it need not define us as good and valuable individuals, or as worthless victims meant to be objectified, used, and discarded when convenient.

• Sexuality is one of the most basic powers of the human race, as significant as the opposable thumb, the larger brain, and upright carriage. We are not really human if we don’t find our own balanced way to our own honest needs.

• Sexuality is both innate and learned. By that I mean that sexuality is a mixture of organic needs and psychosocial training. If we are taught values, expectations, and reflexes that are adversely impacted by specific life experiences, we can retrain ourselves to a different direction.

• Until you have done your own work to determine your own adult sexual identity, be reserved about letting others define you-better that you define yourself for yourself, then you let some outside experience, or influence, control you.

• Healing often has more then one component to it:
  • Learn that constant change is the norm for Life not the expectation
  • Learn that the most important things in your Life are not your Pain or Injuries, but the Strengths you acquire as you Heal them, and then Transcend them.

• Predation experiences of Victims can become training programs for the next generation of Victims, and Victimizers. Learn to be Mindful of your sexual experiences as potential training grounds for Future needs, and work to Balance those needs so you don’t inadvertently impose them on a younger generation.

For more information or support, contact Mike Kennelly at 310-202-8707

Ontogeny Mind

What you do every second becomes every minute

What you do every minute becomes every hour

What you do every hour becomes every day

What you do every day becomes every year

What you do every year becomes you

What you do becomes your community

What your community does becomes our nation

What our nation does becomes our world

What our world does changes the quality of every second

Balance the time between seconds

Balance

Balance is dynamic

Minding Mind

Mind creates

Create balance

Nature

If it is our ultimate nature to create

We will create

Make it

Mindful

Time Enough

If you take no time you have no time

The first moment creates the last

Each moment is the next first

Each moment may the last last

In the time between moments each becomes both first and last

And all things become possible

Neutral Balance

In each life

Neutral balance is the space of creation

The place of all possibilities

The time between seconds

An endless next

Mindfulness

A  Woman’s Way

Safely Entering the Power of Healing

As a Man I’ve often wondered why there is so much friction between our Sexes, so much Anger, so much Fear.  So much…..failed Partnership.  Well of course Fear leads to Anger and Anger leads  to rejection, and we all fear rejection so we want to avoid Rejection, even when we cause Fear.  Jeez!  I’m getting confused.

Actually, I don’t wonder because I find us pretty transparent.  ”We men want something from women that we don’t understand that we want-and we’re angry at you for not giving it to us!  And we’re angry at you for not figuring it out….why are you withholding from us what we need?  And you’re doing it on purpose!  And your hurting us intentionally, and now we’re going to hurt you…”

Thankfully for all of us, most Men don’t feel-think this way, most of the time.  But some of us do.  Some of the time.  And we make it Women’s problem, so in effect we train each of you to create the very situation that we hate the most-your mixed messages of “come closer-go away”.  And that in turn creates our responses that you hate “what’s your problem?”

I know it’s coming from us, you know it’s coming from us, but we’re not going to grow up if we don’t have to.  Because we don’t know how.  And we will keep on with business as usual if we can get away with it.  That means that, while we may be the problem, until you find a solution things will continue down the same dysfunctional path.

We, men and women, are in this together.  Even if we are celibate, even if we are gay.

The solution is “The Joy of Freedom”, it always is, it always has been, it always will be.  But in this world Freedom has several prices-awareness is the first.  Knowledge is the second.  Reflexive Balance is the third.  That’s what these classes are about-Reflexive Balance.  Starting with women is not accusing you of being the problem, nor is it trying to make you responsible for fixing the problem.  I start with women’s self-defense for pragmatic reasons-daily you live in a world that makes each woman the focal point of societal problems, and therefore periodic assault risks.  And while that assault is transparent when manifested physically, the greater assault is constant and unending through socialized relationship patterns.  Self-defense training for women should never be separated from defense of self rights training-at the intersection of Mind-Body-Energy training.  Oh…and it needs to be habitual to the point of Habit and Reflex…..and fun!  A lot of fun so that you look forward to engaging it every day.

We will never feel happy until Women and Men return to the Joy of intimate balance.  To heal our Sexual Civil Wars requires you retaking your right to personal security, in order to find emotional security.  Which requires, of course, physical security.

And all that needs to be Healthy and Fun.  We can do that….(For Instance: April 19-21st in Phoenix).  Looking forward to meeting all of you for a healthy, Reflexively Balanced, and seriously fun weekend.

For more information, and payment plans call me at (310)202-8707

Mike Kennelly, M.S.,
5th Dan Black Belt

Your Template of Challenges

Have you ever heard someone say they “ Spiraled out of control” ? Destruction is a downward spiral. Growth is an upward spiral and creates positive forward movement. Destruction is informative about what to avoid and when to avoid it. Likewise, Growth is the direction you seek, they work together like chopsticks, to feed your change.

The Spiral Cycles of Growth and Destruction are not as far apart as you think; In fact they are right next to each other.  Use this template as an individualized work sheet for measuring your progress and to help identify each step.  When used together this is a powerful tool to shape your reality and create success.

There are eight levels in the Spiral Cycles of Growth and Destruction. Click on the Template of Challenges for a worksheet to get started.

PDF Download: Template of Challenges

For more information on how to implement this system, consulting packages are available. Please call (307) 200-9064

Hi, my name is Mike Kennelly.  If you’r thinking about working with me, or recommending that a friend or loved one work with me, there are things that you should probably know before you decide about that.  Not in order of importance to you or me, I am or have been:

I bring to the Relationship

Therapist

Martial Arts Instructor

Consultant

Business Owner

Mentor

Guide to, and for, Artists

Business Consultant

Teacher of a path to Enlightened Living

Founder, and Executive Director of a Community Mental Health Center

Consultant for investors in real estate

Consultant for International real estate investors, and their agents

Mentor to many start ups, or small businesses

Competitive athlete

Life style, and environmental consultant, for integrating an individual’s inner world, and outer world, seamlessly

A 21st Century Philosopher that has created a powerfully practical system from which each person can craft their own unique Life Design

An expert on guiding personal relationships to developing their own individual potential

A powerful and effective partner in accelerating personal growth, including post traumatic stress disorders, post accident injury rehab, post divorce or post relationship recovery, and post cosmetic enhancement surgeries.

Reviewing life long training, socialization patterns, gender or identity reconfiguration.

Discovery, mapping, and development of an individual’s potential when  freed from their own assumptions, limitations, baggage, and confronting external pressures to be limited by outside pressures.

An expert at blending different cultural, or generational norms and expectations, to create sustainable and enriching romantic relationships

You need to bring to our Relationship

If you, or your’s, are thinking about working with me, these are the commitments I require of you:

Courage to face the unknown possibilities of your own potential.  That’s neither simple nor easy.

An acknowledgement that fundamental changes in you often require fundamental changes in the people closest to you.  They need to be strong, too.

Stamina, especially mental and emotional stamina and flexibility.

Hard work away from our work together.  People change very rapidly when they work with me, sometimes so rapidly that it can shake up their own internal assumptions, and everyone else’s around them.  Identities never operate alone, or in a vacuum, so expect that you, and everyone around you will be touched by your changes.  Be ready for internal and external resistance.

Do not lie to yourself, or try to lie to me. To change fundamentally requires a willingness to face the unknown, particularly the unknown of your own potential.  My commitment is to your potential.  Competitive athletes know the saying “No Pain No Gain!”  Life requires a powerful level of commitment to produce a powerful development of a person’s own potential.  I’m committed to your potential, a step at a time, and nothing less.  Never give up, never give in on yourself.

A commitment to let the people around you define themselves, for themselves.  Even when others make mistakes, you need to understand that mistakes can be an important part of the learning process.  You can’t save them from their own learning curve, you can only distract yourself from your own.  Don’t fall into that trap, even when people you love tempt you.

I’m calling your attention to this now-while you will prefer positive support in your change process, even rejection and attempted sabotage of your changing is an indirect  acknowledgement of your changes, and in that form is a type of acknowledgement that others see your changes too.  Get it? You being different can threaten them remaining the same.

We will work to support changes in you and your life, and, in doing that will try to support your significant others changes as they adapt to yours.  But you need to remember that a good relationship is based upon a good matchup of two competent and balanced adults.  Working to support a relationship is second to working to support yourself.  Good relationships are based on the working partnership of well balanced individuals.

Don’t be afraid to be different.  What is mainstream today may not be mainstream tomorrow.  What is more important to remember is that a balanced life is often at odds with the current social norm, but a balanced life provides the best foundation for the future for all of us.  It’s not a criticism to be seen as visionary.  Even when you make others uncomfortable.  You will need to learn to be comfortable within your own uniquely balanced self.

If something you read resonates with you and I sound like someone you’d like to work with, the best numbers to reach me are (310) 202-8707 or (307) 200-9064.  I’ll look forward to speaking with you.

Cordially,

Mike Kennelly